Yoko Ono plans to once again milk the weary Lennon cash cow by auctioning off a silk cushion that late husband John may or may not have accidentally farted on, it has been revealed.
Not yet recognised as a genuine breed of cow.
The cushion, who has declined to comment, is rumoured to have been sat on either once or never by the former Beatle some time in the late seventies.
Doubt over the legitimacy of what has been dubbed 'The Fart-Cushion' has risen, with Ono herself bringing it into question.
“Whilst I do seem to recall John farting on this cushion, it has to be said that I was on a copious amount of mind-altering drugs for pretty much that whole decade. So I could have just as easily been looking at something else. Like a stapler, or a yummy biscuit.”
Other Lennon artefacts to be auctioned include a sandwich he briefly considered eating and an oil painting by Ono that he once looked at, presumably before remarking “That's a bit shit, love. Even by your standards.”
May contain traces of faecal matter.
David Piles, a dairy farmer from rural Cornwall, took a break from copulating with family members to issue the following statement.
“The over-milking of a cow is a risky endeavour. Too much stimulation of the teat can cause discomfort to the cow as well as sub-par tasting milk.”
“Sorry, what's that? Oh, a metaphorical cow, you say? I do apologise. 'Ere, hang about, I think I can hear my sister calling.”
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